


...Babe.

by missxip69



Series: Haikyuu Oneshots!! [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Cussing, Drunk Texting, Drunken Confessions, Drunken Flirting, Drunkenness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Explicit Language, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, Language, Loving Marriage, M/M, Marriage, Mpreg, Nicknames, OTP Feels, Oikawa is Hammered, Post-Wedding, Same-Sex Marriage, Texting, Wedding Fluff, Wedding Night, Weddings, cursing, doesn't actually happen, mentions of mpreg, otp, otp prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 21:56:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14942069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missxip69/pseuds/missxip69
Summary: The twenty nine text messages and one missed call Iwaizumi gets from his fiance on his wedding day.*Also: Beware the tags. Don't like? DON'T READ. This is a work of fiction and in no way reflects real life. Thank you for understanding.





	...Babe.

WELCOME FRIENDS AND FAMILY

OF THE BRIDE AND GROOM.

BRIDE: Oikawa Tooru

GROOM: Iwaizumi Hajime

Maid of Honor: Sugawara Koushi

Best Man: Sawamura Daichi

"Hey, best man!" The maid of honor giggles, calling to his boyfriend. "You're looking mighty fine this evening."

"Oh, hey, Suga!" Daichi walks up to his fairly intoxicated partner. "What's wrong? Why aren't you ready?"

"Where is Iwaizumi-san?" He asks quietly.

Daichi gestures to the kitchen. "In there, why?"

"Oikawa-kun is having a major issue. Tell Iwaizumi to answer his phone," He whispers, obviously trying not to laugh, turning around and marching back into their changing room.

Daichi stands there for a moment before rushing over to the groom. "Hey, Suga says to look at your phone."

"My phone? Why?"

"I don't know, something about a major issue."

He sighs, standing up and walking out of the kitchen, into the adjourning men's changing room. "Where's my phone, guys?"

"Here," Kuroo chucks it at him. "I was charging it for you."

"Thanks," he says, powering it on. As he did, his ringer began dinging.

And dinging.

...and dinging.

By the time it stopped, the groomsmen all gathered around to look at it.

"Twenty nine unread messages?!" Bokuto begins howling with laughter, "Your girl must be _pissed_!"

Iwaizumi begins scrolling through them.

_"Iwaaachaaaan~ My dress doesn't fiijttt!!!"_

_"This is happeneng"_

_"Iwa."_

_"Its too big"_

_"I SAID ITS TOO BIG"_

_"I lost toon much wait"_

_"I mean aeight"_

_"WEIGHT"_

_"IWA"_

_"Iwaachan you meanie answer me"_

_"Answer your goddamn phone"_

_"Do your hate me"_

_"you hate me dont ou"_

_"We cannog have ghis wedding"_

_"ANSWER ME BACK YOHDJCK"_

_"Oh my god you hate me"_

_"You aren't answering bc you hate me"_

_"Wny"_

_"WHY fodsammit"_

_"Fodsammit ugh I mesnt"_

_"GODDAMMIT"_

_"I hate you Iwaizumi Hajime"_

_"I will never marry you in a bajillion years"_

_"Just give me the cake"_

_"And go die you fuckibg asshole"_

_"I hate ylu"_

_"The wedding as off"_

There was about a ten minute interval between those texts and the final two.

_"Noooo baby don't xall it off"_

_"I'm so sorry baby I'm calling now"_

Iwaizumi flicks through his phone records and opens up the voicemail on speaker.

_"BABY, baby, baby. I'm soooo sorry, Kou-kun talked sense into me, --HIC-- sorry but we drank that bottle of liquor you left with me. --HIC-- Oh god... I feel --HIC-- I feel like I'm gonna puke..."_

Iwaizumi can't help but laugh. "He's worse than a stranded sailor on rum."

" _Anyway, Iwa-chan, baby, baby... babe... don't --HIC-- don't call off the wedding... I love --HIC-- I love --HIC-- you baby! Hey, speaking of babies, --HIC-- put a baby in me tonight! Maybe two! Oh --HIC-- three would be --HIC-- perfect."_

In the background of the voicemail, Koushi calls, laughter laced throughout his words, " _OH GOD, OIKAWA-KUN!"_ before the voicemail dies.

"They're having a grand old time with him."

"What are you doing, call him back!" Daichi yells at him after hearing the voicemail.

He looks at his phone for a little while, wondering if he should. He trusts Koushi, Tsukishima, Hinata, and Akaashi enough to handle it, but maybe he should...

"I wouldn't," his final groomsman, Kageyama, says. "He's being cute and all but really, he's just hoping for your attention. Let his friends figure this last issue out. Let them have their fun."

"The last hoorah."

"Speaking of last hoorahs..." Kuroo holds up a bottle of rum that they all shared during his bachelor party. "We should have one too."

TWO YEARS LATER

"And that is the story of how Aunt Tooru and Uncle Hajime don't remember their wedding at all," Tooru finishes, looking at their 13 year old niece who came to their house for their anniversary. "...now lets have some cake!"

"You really love cake, huh, Fattykawa."

"YOU JERK!" Tooru throws his fork at his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos. Bookmark. Comment me.


End file.
